What is it I want to do?

I have had to think about this a lot as of late, because I keep agreeing to do stuff or I keep wanting to do stuff and I never consider how little time I already have. So really, what is it that I want to do?

I have dreamed of being a novelist since the time I learned to read. I still have that dream, but for many reasons, I’m really scared to act on it. My biggest holdup is money, as I will have to dedicate large amounts of my day (or night) to writing several hours every day. That means that I won’t be able to do other (less exciting) work in order to write. It’s a huge gamble, and one that I don’t feel entirely comfortable with taking right now, at least not until my businesses take off. Of course, I have to take time out of my day to properly market my businesses, which just puts everything in a vicious cycle that I’m too scared to put in motion.

Then there’s the whole issue of video game writing. That is something that I never thought I would do, and now that I am doing it, I don’t want to quit that at all. However, I’m really stretched thin right now, too the point of slacking away from GA and SGR. Something has to give there, and I know it won’t be SGR. That is my baby, it is taking off, and I am NOT letting it go.

So after lots of waffling and obsessing, I’ve forced myself to ask if money was no object, what would I do? The response was so clear, it was almost a slap in the face.

• My businesses
• SGR
• My book
• Game Revolution

So yeah, I know what I need to do now. It won’t happen until this Fall due to commitments I’ve already made, but at least I know what it is I want to do, and therefore, what I need to do. That, in of itself, is an amazing relief.