So last Tuesday, right before E3, my boss flagged me on IM to say he really needed to talk as soon as possible. As this was 8:30 a.m., I knew this couldn’t be good news. Which it wasn’t. Action Trip, the site that has employed me for over three years, will close down at the end of the month. At the end of June, I’ll be out of a steady-paying job. At the end of June, I’ll be yet another unemployed video game reporter and reviewer scouring for the precious few paid gigs that still exist.
Kind of a huge plunge downward from announcing I was the new Editor-in-Chief just two weeks before, huh?
At least I can take solace in knowing that the decision to close the site had nothing to do with my leadership. I hadn’t been there long enough to kill anything yet, and I actually had huge plans for how to move forward. I had brought in a couple of other writers, I had a plan for weekly and monthly columns, and I had an eSports writer ready to join the team in just a month after he returned from a photography tour. We were going to go places or go down in flames trying. Turns out we were just going to go down in flames.
If you follow me on Facebook, you probably noticed I went to E3 anyway. My boss told me to go on ahead and go, act like nothing is wrong, and do my best to network. The whole trip was already paid for, so why not head out to LA, play some video games, and talk to as many people about work as possible?
The trip was okay. It would have been 100% better if my head was in a happier place, but it really wasn’t. I was so happy to see my friends, yet I couldn’t help think that this may be the last time I’m in this hall, talking to these PR people, and hanging out with other fellow reviewers I only talk to via Twitter and Skype. Plus I had this crushing feeling of, why am I even here? Is there a point to me meeting with any of these PR reps? Taking up their time? Who else could better utilize this moment than I, as someone else has a place to definitely write for. As much fun as E3 was, I remained sad most of the time.
One question I’m getting a lot is, “what are you going to do?” Well, I don’t have a complete answer for that yet. I’ve been freelancing for PlayStation Lifestyle for the last few months, and the directors over there have said they want me to continue freelancing for them. There’s also a possibility that I’ll have Game Revolution work as well, where I used to write until I was transferred to Action Trip. But as I told my family, I’m keeping my fingers crossed any hopes in check. This is one unstable industry all around, from press to PR to developers to publishers.
I still want to write and review games, but I’m coming to grips to the fact that most likely, it won’t be all I’ll ever be able to do again. It will be a part-time gig, full of uncertainty month-to-month like virtually every other writer in the industry.
Thank God I’ve made that plan for yoga psychotherapy, yes? Although, I won’t complete that certification for several more months, so in the meantime, I’m going to look into getting a flat 200-hour yoga teacher training certification so I can perhaps offer private sessions as a business. One day, yoga will be my business, so why not get a jump start on it sooner than planned?
And of course, I’ll still write about games. I can’t NOT write about games. I love games too much, I love writing too much, I love the people in this industry too much, and I’ve just started to get good at it.
If it’s not too much trouble, please keep your fingers crossed for me as I see what freelancing I can drum up and still pay my bills and still be around for the kids. This is going to be one long and strange summer.
You will absolutely land on your feet after this. I’ve known for you six years and I’ve never seen you shy away from the hustle. I’ll be right beside you this time. Let’s get it, girl. Smooches forever and ever.
Great, honest essay. I know you’ll be writing more and more. You’re too good and too enthusiastic about an industry you love to be kept down. 🙂
It was such a bummer to see you so down at E3 this year. I look forward to bossing you around for months to come at PSLS.
Keri, you are awesome. I know that being awesome and other people saying you are awesome doesn’t pay the bills (trust me, I’ve tried), but the most important thing I got out of this is that you recognize it wasn’t your fault — which perhaps sucks even more, given that it shows we’re in a volatile and unstable industry. People seem to think there’s some sort of glamour around what we do, but while it’s fun, the fact is that there’s a lot of uncertainty and tough times being a games writer, no matter how well off it may seem that you are. Thanks for sharing your feelings on this.
You’re an awesome writer who will be on her feet in no time. ActionTrip may have been home, but you deserve a much better site to belong to, and with your talent, you’ll find one, particularly now that you’re a defacto PSLS and GameRevolution writer.