I must have said that exact phrase a hundred times over the last few weeks. If you recall from March, in January it was highly recommended to me that Zack go to a different school for kindergarten. He’s behind in his speech, something we’ve been working on since he was three. Being behind in his speech has made him behind in many other things, such as reading and writing. Evidently, he’s supposed to know how to read by the time he gets to kindergarten. At the very least, recognize short words.
He’s not doing that. He doesn’t recognize all of the letters in the alphabet. It’s all due to his speech delay, which causes a delay in all language cognition. They recommended that I look into Preston Hollow Presbyterian, a school well known for helping kids overcome their learning differences. I have friends who have sent their kids there and they loved it. I’ve heard nothing but great things about it. It’s also practically on the other side of Dallas from where I live.
Needless to say, I’ve not been excited about the prospect.
If I could send him where Gabe goes, I would, but they don’t start until first grade. I had to get the ball rolling ASAP. They require a psychoeducational evaluation, a 4-6 hour test to assess where a child is in all subjects. Again, Zack is FIVE. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to subject a FIVE-YEAR-OLD to this exam, but here we are. The earliest I could get Zack in for the assessment was April. I was calling in early February, for the record.
PHP let me know that they couldn’t guarantee a spot for him, which I understood.
And so it begins…
Before the eval, I went to a moms’ dinner with other Pre-K parents (I know, I was social. It was crazy!) and I talked to quite a few moms who were having similar issues. Well, similar in that the Pre-K teachers were recommending their child repeat Pre-K. Zack can’t repeat because he’ll be six in August. A few of the moms agreed to hold their kids back, but a couple refused. One mom said she was pushing her daughter forward to kindergarten and was looking at language therapists to help. Her daughter is behind with the alphabet too. At that moment, I turned to her, and asked if she thought it was ridiculous we were getting language therapists for kindergarteners. She laughed and agreed. That was the first time I said out loud, “It’s fucking kindergarten!”
Because it is! This isn’t fifth grade or even second. It’s kindergarten. Isn’t that when kiddos are supposed to learn to read? These are five- and six-year-old children. This is not supposed to be a time of stress and frustration. It’s supposed to be a time when learning is still fun. But here I am, stressing on my child’s behalf over whether he can hack fucking kindergarten.
After the eval, the psychologist said she thought Zack would do fine anywhere as long as he had speech and language support. All of that is extra at St. John’s, but it’s part of the curriculum at PHP. Okay fine, whatever.
Aaaaaaand I’m Done.
Fast forward to today. I can’t set up a formal visit with PHP until the report from the psychologist is in. I reached out to her and she said it would be another 2-3 weeks. That means PHP won’t see him until mid to late May. I paid the deposit to St. John’s before I got the news about needing to look elsewhere. I’m technically not in limbo about where he will go to school.
So today I officially said fuck it. This is all ridiculous, something I knew from the beginning. He’s going to return to St. John’s next year. No more of this limbo. No more of this waiting on others to decide his KINDERGARTEN fate. I reached out to Gabe’s language therapist and got her on board. Do I still think it’s ludicrous for Zack to need two therapists at this age? Abso-fucking-lutely, but I also need the school to way off my back about this.
If he is struggling in kinder, then yes, I’ll send him to Dallas Academy where they are fully equipped to work with delays and learning differences. But for now, the money I’ll “save” by sending him to a school where he won’t need extra tutors is not worth this stress. It’s not worth putting him in potential limbo for a school next year. It’s definitely not worth the stress I’m going to have next year trying to get two kids to school by 8 a.m. on the opposite sides of town when I have no husband able to help out in the mornings or a nanny. Do you know who will feel that stress more than I will? It’s Zack. I know parental stress bleeds into kids. It’s not worth any possible monetary savings.
Also? IT’S FUCKING KINDERGARTEN.
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